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PUT ME IN, COACH!

I wish I could pinch hit for the president on Thursday night. Here’s how I would do it:

 

In my opening remarks I would say the following:

 

That man is a liar. His whole life is a lie. It has been proven. He lied to avoid paying his taxes, dumping his tax burden on the rest of us. Donald Trump lied to his wife to avoid her wrath over his many affairs and conquests. He lied about his wealth. He lied about corruption of our electoral system. So it is in that light that he and I try to convince you, the people who will elect the next president, to vote for us.

 

As he answers tonight’s questions, pitches his candidacy and tries again to take us back to more troubling times, remember: he’s lying. When he attacks me, he’ll be lying. When he brags about his success in business, he’ll be lying, when he claims he was an effective president, he’ll be lying.

 

The fact is, job creation is breaking records. I’ve kept the peace in this extremely complex world of international relations. After he let hundreds of thousands of our neighbors die because he was too proud to admit the COVID pandemic was real, my administration cleaned up his mess. We have made measurable but inadequate progress on climate change. He admires and even sucks up to the Madman of Moscow and would give more than a dozen sovereign nations back to recreate the Soviet Union.

 

He treats people like a 14-year-old bully. He’s scaring the hell out of our allies around the world. Imagine what the world would be like if today’s kids learn leadership skills from this felon: lying, cheating, lying, petty name-calling, and did I say lying.

 

So, let him make his claims tonight and in the weeks ahead. But you know, and it’s been proven repeatedly, that he’ll be lying.

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